Learning to be Mad

In September of 2009, I went to McMinnville, TN along with 274 other people from all over the world to participate in an event that would potentially allow us to have experiences that are not so much in the physical realm. I arrived at the Isha Institute of Inner Sciences (iiis) along with 3 other participants a few minutes after 6pm (and late) on a Thursday evening. The days that followed were typical of any time spent with Isha meditators...full of surprises. Which is one of the reasons why I cannot speak of all the activities we did. :-(

There were about as many volunteers as there were participants. This place was buzzing with 600 odd people half of whom (the volunteers) were trying to make things happen in the most perfect way for us. It rained cats and dogs most of the time but that didn't deter them from bringing us food or the awesome hot teas that they are so good at making. As usual everything was so well coordinated that 3 days went by very quickly. I slept in a place consecrated by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev known as Mahima hall at night. It's a huge hall with a red dome with pillars only around the periphery and none in the middle. Even though I probably slept only about 5 hours each night, waking at 4:30 each morning I always felt well rested. There's something special about that place that every time I go there I don't need much sleep to wake up fresh as a dew!

For 3 days, we did things that would have made us look so crazy to the outside world. For 3 days we looked within ourselves and found ourselves not just inside but outside; in every person, stone and leaf. Even in the wind and clouds and the wonderful rain. My tears didn't stop flowing for 3 day...I wasn't sad, just overwhelmed by what I was experiencing. I felt so foolish for being the way I was and the way I had lived. I believed that looking inside means cutting off everything that outside provides because these outside forces are distractions. In the process I had really stopped living. As my tears washed off these imaginations and prejudices I had, something inside of me grew bigger and bigger to encompass everything that ever existed and allowed me to melt away completely. Unfortunately these experiences did not last long. This was just the jump that Sadhguru was providing so we could (as he puts it) see what lies on the other side of the wall.

I don't know what other people experienced and I'm sure all of us experience different things or even the same thing differently but all of us came out on that Monday with a fresh set of eyes and a sense of how one can live joyfully, without effort if we just remember the experiences we had and how much they meant to us. The programme is called Bhava Spandana... which literally translated means a reverberation of senses/emotions and it definitely made my resolve to continue on the path I'm on much stronger. Here's a poem about that experience

How Foolish

The night is warm

And the skies are clear.

But the streets are rife

With winds of change.

The rain that is to come

Will swallow us soon!

Completely drenched we will be

Like babies or madmen

Rocking or dancing or screaming in

Ecstasy or anticipation.

Ready to put our bodies down and watch

The Final Procession

As wood turns to ash, watch

Ourselves disappear and melt into

The sky, the sun, the rivers, the stone

Into somebody else and into nobody

Foolishly how long have I been lost

And how long before I'm found and gone again?

Oh! how much longer before it rains

And lightening strikes this slumbering seed inside?

Pulling life from the I in me until

I am not and never again will be.

--Megha (2/28/2010)