MOTHERHOOD

This I believe. Motherhood is a big step. It should be by choice and not force or chance.

Many women risk their lives to end a pregnancy that is unintended or dangerous . It is indeed a difficult decision to make. I believe that these women aren't doing it just because it is a convenient thing to do but they are doing it due to pressing life circumstances.
In 2001, there were 6.4 million pregnancies in the US. Of which 3.1 million were unintended. 44% of the unintended pregnancies ended in a live birth while 42% ended in an abortion.[1] That would mean that if abortion were illegal, about 1.3 million women in the US would have no choice in the matter of their own reproductive rights. It would also mean that women and mothers getting illegal abortions would be criminalized and possibly be sent to jail. This website asks anti-abortion activists the question, " If abortion is illegal, what should the penalty be?"

While it is safe to say that most women these days use atleast one method of contraception, some of those methods are not very effective. Suffice it to say that while we do need to improve accessibility and generate awareness about these methods, it does not make much sense to take away the right of a woman to decide whether she is capable of sustaining another life.

A lot of pro-life activists say that abortion is the taking of a life but refuse to realize that no woman would go through the process unless she had absolutely thought about what she was doing.

This I believe. Abortion, for many, is a difficult choice to make. It should however remain.....a choice.

Dorothy Fadiman was taken to the ER because of a botched illegal abortion after her doctor refused to provide her with a safe abortion.

In 1991 she created an award winning trilogy "From the Back-Alleys to the Supreme Court and Beyond" that covers the abortion rights issue beginning from the time when it was illegal through the struggle for legalizing it to the current situation and the fight to keep it legal.
You can watch the important extracts of the trilogy (27 min) or the whole thing (about 2 1/2 hrs) here .
If you are pro-choice this documentary will help deepen your understanding of why the protection of this choice is imortant.
If you are pro-life, please take 30 min to listen to the other side of the story and understand what women go through.

----Megha (08/23/08)

Vande Mataram!
Happy Independence Day everybody
---Megha

Children. Why do we have them? I'm talking about biological children and I'm looking beyond the basic instinct to procreate. Is there a reason?
How true are the following statements?
We have kids because they are a source of happiness.
I want a child because I want a little person that is in my own likeness.
It makes me happy to see something I've helped "create" that has my eyes, nose, hair etc.
Because having a child feels like a miracle.

However, are those reasons enough? That is not to say that children do not make us happy, they absolutely do. But how is it that in a materially oriented society where we are so unemotional with everything/body else but when it comes to babies, suddenly we talk about miracles?

Also, are those the REAL reasons? So many couples do it because "they are supposed to". So many people do it for what I think are the wrong reasons. So many people do it even though they might not be able to provide for their expanding families.


One day, during a conversation with a colleague of mine, I told him that I did not want any children of my own. I wanted to adopt. He called me selfish and went on to lecture me about my debt to society and to my parents. In his view, the reason for my existence was because my parents made a choice and so, being indebted to them I must repay this debt by having my very own biological children. Well what about those children that need parents. I really don't feel entitled to bring another soul into this realm unless those that are already here get good homes and families!

"Well, in that case," he said, "you should have one biological child and one adopted child." WTF! Is that really how society thinks?! And what if I want only one child? A lot of people I talked to also believe that the first child should be biological and the second adopted. Seriously, are we discriminating against children that aren't made from our very own DNA?!

In my mind, very biological child I have means a lost opportunity to parent an adopted child....and that according to society is selfish.

Hinduism believes that by reproducing, we allow our ancestors to be reborn in human form and give them another chance at salvation (or whatever we're supposed to be doing). And if we (or more precisely the men) don't do what we're (the men are) supposed to do, then upon dying, our souls enter the realm of "Put" from where there is no release (i.e. the soul is in some deep shit!). This seems more of a scare tactic to me. I wonder if an impotent man or woman was looked down upon back in those times? I wonder if this “you must have children” thing was done only so a man could prove that there was nothing lacking in him. And if there really was something lacking, then there were alternate routes provided to help with the issue.

And everytime I ask a question, I get provided the means to answer it my self. As I was working on the few paragraphs I've written, I got a little dose of baby time from everywhere. The first was a labmate of mine who just a few weeks ago had a baby and brought her in to work so every one could meet her. I noticed the interaction between parents and child (even though she was in VERY deep sleep). The parents were both tired but happy. Recently someone else I know had a baby and of course the parents are happy about it.
Then I got invited by a couple to a barbeque. They had 5 children. The oldest was probably somewhere in the mid to upper teens and the youngest was probably around 6. As a big family there was lots of work to do but everyone was lending a hand. It was a relaxed and happy atmosphere. Were any of those children adopted? I don't know, but I don't think so. Would they be just as happy if the children weren’t their own? I’d say you’d have to be a really narrow minded and small hearted person incapable of true love to not be happy.

Why this reluctance with giving a child the love and affection it needs? Why label an orphan as someone else’s mistake and hence not our responsibility? Are we so shallow that we somehow think that our children are superior because they are our own flesh and blood? Why do so many people believe that if you adopt a child, then there is something "wrong" with you? Are we using our children to prove something?

Shame on us for submitting to the ridiculousness of society.
----Megha