I wanted to write something on my childhood. It was spent with very few toys. The only toy I really had ( and infact still have) was a pink bear. As a solitary kind of kid. Even though I had a tonne of friends, I loved to spend time alone. Just looking at stuff. I think my parents preferred that I spend time outside instead of inside. And they never got angry if I came home covered in mud as long as I had fun.
I spent a lot of time on trees. The unwritten rule between my brother and I was that if there was a tree, we had to climb it. He was and still is better at it than I am...although getting down is a whole another issue. Another rule was that if the tree bore fruit (mangoes, guavas, jackfruit) then they had to be stolen. I was never allowed to accompany him to these expeditions since they usually occurred at 4 or 5 AM. He never got caught!!! Although I think he has been chased but never identified. If I had a house with a yard with trees, I would absolutely allow the neighbourhood kids to steal the fruit...it's a part of childhood. I might even fake chase them. :-)
I also spent a lot of time with insects; caterpillars, ants, butterflies, dragonflies, spider. We hung out with scorpions and snakes even, although not in very close proximity. Lots of different kinds of birds, squirrels, mongooses were common. Yeah it was wild! Occasionally I'd dig out some dirt in the backyard and wet it with enough water to make it mouldable like clay and make stuff out of it. Of course I had to break it down and clean up the mess..but playdoh wasn't on my list of things to buy. And no , I didn't get sick. I think it helped my immunity.
And just as soon as it started, it was all gone. Sigh! I wish I was a child again.

Easily Distracted

The dancing wind,
Turning everything
Inside-out, Upside-down
My umbrella and the sound of rain
Wet, drenched
To the soul infused
And on a branch perched
A king on a throne

Caterpillar walking, my finger tickled
Spiders weaving webs, waiting, sparkling
Ants working, a string, single-minded
Of black or red
Leaves burning, falling, burning
The feel of mud on little hands
And the scent of burnt grass

Running after the remains
Of a dandelion,
Mesmerized
By hovering humming birds
Or dazzling dragonflies
Spellbound by butterflies
A pebble in a well

Squirrels chased or a cat stalked
Up in the branches
With the sooty crow we flew
A breath taken, A veil dropped
A heartbeat in silence

The quiet sounds we heard as children
The symphony.
It ends before it even starts
Bewitched by the world
Above and below
Engrossed.
Distracted
By Childhood

Prayer

Every time we pray, we ask. For strength or happiness or health or success. Sometimes our asking is directed toward an idol in front of us. We go into a temple or church and kneel and bow our heads. For we feel that whatever this idol symbolizes, controls things that are out of our very human control.
We give our god a form by looking at him/her through messengers or deities that imbibe the powers that we do not ( or we think we do not) hold so that he/she becomes more comprehensible to our limited(or so we think) intellect!
And then some of us decide that if we can't even understand what god is, we shouldn't assign a form to that god. The form only gets in they way of what we really want. I agree with that

But then what do we want from life in the end? Really. How long will our material acquisitions keep us happy? And aren't we perhaps being greedy by continuously asking? And when our wishes are fulfilled, how do we give back to god? Burn incense, donate our time or money to charitable causes?
Maybe god sees it as a good thing to do, but has anyone asked god what he/she really wants?
I mean supposedly there is an entire universe to take care of, does he/she need any help with that besides our little charitable attempts?
Hindu's believe that the divine is responsible for creation, sustenance and destruction. It's a cycle that gets repeated over and over again. And the whole point of that is...? God knows...I sure don't!
I guess we are really giving a hand with the destruction part for now though.

All I know is that I was born and now I have to live until I die. If some good comes out of my life...that's good. And if I die uncared for or unloved or unrecognised...that's just fine.
Will I be happy? I think so
Does it really matter? No
Will any one really care? Not really besides me!
Feel free to share your opinion.
In the meanwhile here is a Sikh prayer (with translation)that I really really really like, because it doesn't ask for anything. These are the opening lines to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
In my mind they are beautiful and no matter how many times I repeat it, when I get to the end, I want to repeat it again and again and again (sometimes my brain is like a gramophone stuck on a record). If you're wondering whether I'm Sikh, I'm not and it doesn't matter. Just like idols can get in the way of what is really important, many times the same is true of religion.

Mool Mantar

Ik Onkaar

There is only one God

Sat Naam

His Name is Truth

Karta Purkh

He is the Creator

Nir Bhau

He is without fear

Nir Vair

He is without hate

Akaal Moorat

He is beyond time (Immortal)

Ajooni

He is beyond birth and death

Saibhang

He is self-existent

Gur Parsaad

He is realised by the Guru's grace.

Jap

Recite this prayer

Aad Sach

He existed in the beginning and was the Truth

Jugad Sach

He has been existing through the ages as the Truth

Haibhi Sach

Even now he Is . The truth

Nanak ho se bhi sach

Nanak says that this Truth shall forever be.

Sochai soch na hovayi je sochi lakhvaar.

Cleansing the body cannot make the mind clean.

Chupai chup na hovayi je laye rahaa livtaar.

The mind cannot be silenced by remaining silence continuously.

Bhukheya bhukh na utari je banna puriya bhaar.

Greed cannot be ended by being given an abundance of wealth.

Sehas syanpaa lakh hohe ta ik na chalai naal.

Even if ones cleverness was to become infinite, this intelligence and shrewdness is not the way to God.

Kiv sacheyara hoyiyai kiv koode tuttai paal.

How can one be true and pure enough to be on the path to God?

Hukam rajaee challnaa Nanak likheya naal.

By leading life according to God's will.

PS: I've added a link to YouTube for the song from the movie Rang de Basanti. If you missed it in the text, here it is again:

This little poem feels more like prose to me. It just doesn't feel good enough to me. But I've been working on it since September 2005. I give up. This is it and I'm not really happy with it.

Sometimes

Sometimes. It hurts.
Like plucking a flower or
Trapping a butterfly.
Words come before thought
To look at a crowd and see no smile.
To see people laugh
only so they don't cry
When people speak
Only to feel alive

A friendly hand seems a trap
Every good deed only an opportunity
It hurts.
When friendship is nurtured by the material
And love is guided by the cynical.
When it feels selfish to give
Or impolite to help.

Scaling mountains for happiness
But never content.
Arrogant, we build our lives
Like castles in the air.
Ignorant enough to believe
They will hold
Through all Time.
But to know that this will not last
That the spirit is caught
In so much that shall be lost
But that glorious loss is the goal.
It hurts
Sometimes that we will never understand.
----Megha (09/25/05)