Seeking to be alive also means feeling contradictory emotions at the same time.
Is the pleasure causing the pain or is the pain pointing at life?
Sometimes pain is a milestone that one needs to go through to get to the other side and sometimes pain is like a little sharp pebble stuck in your heel cutting you while you walk on your happy path.
Being in love can be painful, sacrificing something for good can be painful, birthing a child can be painful...being born is perhaps at least uncomfortable! :-)
This I can say for myself: turning from outside to inside is comfortable, easy even. But turning back from inside to outside is sweet pain ..unbearable.
The crossroads where pleasure and pain intersect are indeed mysterious and how we are all drawn it them.
Saviour
Be not my Saviour
Be not my friend
Be a Lover not companion
I'm not here to mend.
In this dark night turn not your face
Up at the stars
Look down at me instead and gently stop
My beating heart.
For in your gentle kisses on my lips
I am born
And on a bed of dreamless nights,
Melting,
To your rhythm I dissolve.
Toil and seek mercilessly
Let humility be found
In the releasing of tears
And in being unbound.
Walk with me a while Love
And sing with me a song.
Then reach out for my waiting heart
And break it until it's gone.
Then..
Let me go.
Be no saint to this sinner,
Be not my friend.
Be a lover not companion
And be cruel to the End.
--Megha (1/1/13)
