Winds of Change

Sometimes it feels like change is upon me. In fact I always feel like things are in a constant flux and I quite welcome change. But sometimes I feel like I've worked hard for some change and worked long and that yet it is not enough. I feel like I'm on the edge of a precipice of change and yet I'm about to miss it's happening and will get sucked into something else.
This is a poem about change, about going from death to rebirth  and about longing for a much deeper change within; from slumber to wakefulness.

Winds of Change

Winds of change blow down the streets tonight,

And although the night is warm and the skies are clear,

The rain that is to come will wash me down with it

Soon I lay my body down and watch the final procession

The pyre, I watch as paper turns to ash and I disappear

Into the trees, the grass, the stone and dirt

And soon enough I will rock myself awake

And cry innocent tears

Dance and sway and perhaps look like a madman.

How many lives I wonder

How many times have I done this!

Foolishly, How long have I been lost

And how long before I'm found again?

I've longed for lightening, the thunderous strike

Oh! How much longer before it rains

So this slumbering seed inside me begins to stir

Pulling life from the I in me until

I am not and never again will be

---Megha (13th Feb 2012)

Spring

As summer has left us here in Seattle and we're enjoying the wonderful winter weather! :D  I thought posting a poem about spring might be nice.

This poem about spring that talks about more than spring. It's not about hope but about knowing what is surely going to happen someday.

It's also about love. I imagined a love between the Sun and the Clouds and of how even though we might think of them as opposites (metaphorically) but in another world perhaps they could be lovers. Written by the Cloud

Spring

Soon it will be spring…

The trees will blush in the arms of the sun;

Just as I would in yours.

Leaves will curl out of their cold bosom

And bathe in the warmth….until they turn gold

Soon the sweet nectar of life will flow forth

As the sun and rain spin magic.

One eclipsing the other-back and forth

Jesting and mocking

Then embracing.

Like lovers, spent

Watch, as across the still sky

Sprouts forth a smile in seven colours, content

The trees will blush…Soon

It will be spring.

----Megha

Travels

There are times when we feel like we're making the same mistakes again....except we aren't. Times when we feel like inspite of our decisions being right, they feel wrong intuitively and the things we most want to get way from are the things that we also crave the most.

Life itself seems like a journey where even though we may have learnt much, we feel still like there is much much more to learn. We start at the beginning and no matter how hard we try, we just come back to the beginning realizing that life is too magnificent, too vast and infinite for us to grasp with our little hands.

Like the Red Queen's race in Alice in Wonderland, "...it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run atleast twice as fast as that!" :-)

This poem is a sense of my travels so far:

Travels

Having freed myself
Why do I now desire
Most deeply to be bound?

Having scaled the peak
Why do I now crave
To come back down?

Or perhaps I have fallen
Instead
Not risen, not freed
Still am I tempted
And no longer sure
Of what I desire

Have I woken or
Am I just dreaming yet
Another dream?
Searching searching
I thought I had found
‘Twas an obsession
And in it I am now ground.
Maybe in circles I have
Been walking
Thinking I’m going
But only returning

A wayfarer for lifetimes
It seems I have been
At each birth, only to come back
to the beginning

The empty pull inside me
Holds no bounds.
So I start over and over
On a path where
Beginning is End
and the End is a Beginning.

--Megha (09/13/2010)

End of Life

A grave little poem to go with the grim September weather of Seattle. I really don't know where this came from, but somewhere inside, this is what it feels like. As usual I write from my experiences....but I don't know what experience would cause me to feel like this. Enjoy anyway! :-)

--Love,

Megha

End of Life

Looking ahead,
At Life in front of me,
A vast ocean I see.
Quiet, Serene, Deep and still Blue
Solemnly I sit at it’s banks,
Bathing in the racing darkness.
Waiting for a promised Ferry

Eloquent in it’s silence
It beckons me to begin
Without Ferryman or Light or
Even the Wind for my sails

My feet hesitate and
My steps are unsure.
For I know that when,
The black waters embrace
This skin, surely
I am to drown in it’s passion

There is no other shore to this Sea
There is nowhere to arrive
But a journey must be begun

The darkness is complete,
The waves hasten to
Tug at my shores
But I push them away for
Another day

The Moon rises and I wish
Upon all the stars
That my Ferryman may soon come
So my travels may end

---Megha (08/31/2010)

Learning to be Mad

In September of 2009, I went to McMinnville, TN along with 274 other people from all over the world to participate in an event that would potentially allow us to have experiences that are not so much in the physical realm. I arrived at the Isha Institute of Inner Sciences (iiis) along with 3 other participants a few minutes after 6pm (and late) on a Thursday evening. The days that followed were typical of any time spent with Isha meditators...full of surprises. Which is one of the reasons why I cannot speak of all the activities we did. :-(

There were about as many volunteers as there were participants. This place was buzzing with 600 odd people half of whom (the volunteers) were trying to make things happen in the most perfect way for us. It rained cats and dogs most of the time but that didn't deter them from bringing us food or the awesome hot teas that they are so good at making. As usual everything was so well coordinated that 3 days went by very quickly. I slept in a place consecrated by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev known as Mahima hall at night. It's a huge hall with a red dome with pillars only around the periphery and none in the middle. Even though I probably slept only about 5 hours each night, waking at 4:30 each morning I always felt well rested. There's something special about that place that every time I go there I don't need much sleep to wake up fresh as a dew!

For 3 days, we did things that would have made us look so crazy to the outside world. For 3 days we looked within ourselves and found ourselves not just inside but outside; in every person, stone and leaf. Even in the wind and clouds and the wonderful rain. My tears didn't stop flowing for 3 day...I wasn't sad, just overwhelmed by what I was experiencing. I felt so foolish for being the way I was and the way I had lived. I believed that looking inside means cutting off everything that outside provides because these outside forces are distractions. In the process I had really stopped living. As my tears washed off these imaginations and prejudices I had, something inside of me grew bigger and bigger to encompass everything that ever existed and allowed me to melt away completely. Unfortunately these experiences did not last long. This was just the jump that Sadhguru was providing so we could (as he puts it) see what lies on the other side of the wall.

I don't know what other people experienced and I'm sure all of us experience different things or even the same thing differently but all of us came out on that Monday with a fresh set of eyes and a sense of how one can live joyfully, without effort if we just remember the experiences we had and how much they meant to us. The programme is called Bhava Spandana... which literally translated means a reverberation of senses/emotions and it definitely made my resolve to continue on the path I'm on much stronger. Here's a poem about that experience

How Foolish

The night is warm

And the skies are clear.

But the streets are rife

With winds of change.

The rain that is to come

Will swallow us soon!

Completely drenched we will be

Like babies or madmen

Rocking or dancing or screaming in

Ecstasy or anticipation.

Ready to put our bodies down and watch

The Final Procession

As wood turns to ash, watch

Ourselves disappear and melt into

The sky, the sun, the rivers, the stone

Into somebody else and into nobody

Foolishly how long have I been lost

And how long before I'm found and gone again?

Oh! how much longer before it rains

And lightening strikes this slumbering seed inside?

Pulling life from the I in me until

I am not and never again will be.

--Megha (2/28/2010)

7 Months of Meditation

In March of this year I remember struggling with a lot of things in life. Mostly my emotions and my hyper-critical nature was making living with myself a little difficult. I wrote a post then about my encounter with Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev and was planning on taking the "Inner Engineering" course. Well, so I did take it in April and have been meditating every day since then. It is now 7 months and no part of me wants to give up the 1/2 hour I spend on my inner wellbeing every day. I wonder where Isha was all my life and why it took me so long to find something that worked for me.

First off, I have done a few yoga courses and tried my best to continue with them but somehow it didn't work for me. I couldn't find in myself the sincerity or the resolve to do any of the practices I was taught. 7 days of Inner Engineering did not somehow transform my life, but it stuck with me. The Shambhavi Maha Mudra Kriya that I was taught seemed to be what my body and mind instinctively accepted. Somewhere inside of me something decided that this was it and whether I liked it or not and whether it was convenient or not, I would not give up.

I didn't always understand what (if any) transformations were happening to me and initially I thought I was just imagining somethings. But in the first few months I had the experience of falling in love with almost anything. The woman on the bus, the homeless man who smelled really bad, the trees, even the pavement...animate or inanimate, all I could feel was love ( and I wasn't trying). I'm not saying that my most irritating colleague suddenly became closest to my heart. All I can say is that I felt love for everything.

A lot of the times I struggled with a wandering mind...especially if it was the end of the day and I was very hungry and had to do my Kriya before I could eat dinner...sometimes all I could think about for 30 min was FOOD! It's bad.. I know! :D

At some point after a few months of practice, I became better at all the techniques and my back hurt much less than it did the first time. On more than a couple of occasions I had the experience of partial dissolution of the body, i.e. I couldn't feel my arms or legs or most of my body for maybe 10-15 sec. It felt so wonderful to not be so physical in existence.

I think everybody has their own set of experiences with Shambhavi. These are mine. It's definitely worth the time and effort.

Oh and of course VOLUNTEERING! Once you take a class, you can volunteer for upcoming classes and you keep learning and learning and perfecting what you've learnt. I'm a Virgo...while I don't believe in astrology to a large extent, still a few things are true for me:

1) I like work

2)I like to aim towards perfectionism

3) I like to be in the background and make things happen

Volunteering was wonderful for me. I could work so that I could give back what I received. Make the class as wonderful an experience for the new Meditators as it was for me. While volunteering, I'd feel as if all the volunteers were on single entity and we had dissolved to create what was happening in the class. I was nothing, a nobody and yet something had come out of me!

The last class I volunteered for was held in Olympia, WA ( a new center). 27 participants and only a couple of men. On the last day..the closing day, I remembered how grateful I felt on the last day of my class for the gift I had received... and then suddenly I was feeling what the entire room of women was feeling.

Now, I've grown up in a environment full of men, been a daddy's girl, haven't really had a sister and had more guy friends than girls. I just didn't get women and still don't completely understand them and here I was feeling all the feminine energy around me and tears rolled down my cheek for the last 10 min. WOW! Women are so wonderful! It blew my mind away! I wanted to go and bow down in front of them and say, " You women! You are just fabulous!"

I derive a lot of my descriptions in poetry from the world around me. My last poem "Decide Already" included some descriptions of images I see practically everyday. Just thought I would post them on the blog.

I can't show "cracked water on a frozen sidewalk" or "white trimmings on edges of leaves" because it's summer here in Seattle and in the images below, I'm sure the statue isn't very cold :D and of course the trees aren't very bare either....but here they are anyway!

Cold Statue on a High Pedestal

Bare trees behind a Purple Haze:

Decide Already

I recently wrote a poem for a blogger friend Vineet.

Read it here.

Do also read his other posts. They are quite funny...especially the one about out of office responses.

---Megha

Over the past month or so I have been struggling. I am a very critical person and tend to criticise every thing, animate and inanimate :-D ...including myself. Sometimes it's very difficult for me to live with myself. So I decided to stop thinking so much and not be critical of things and that has definitely made me a happier person. But it is difficult to do....to not think, for me.

Out of the blue, yesterday, I went to a talk by Sadguru Vasudev who happened to be visiting Seattle. I've been to many talks and have heard many sadhu's and saints speak and when I sat down in the hall after a long day in the lab, I was not in a very receptive mood.

Still Sadguru Vasudev was the best I've heard so far in the sense of how he applies yoga practically to the problems of todays world. He talks of uncluttering the mind (which all the great sadhu's tell us to do) ...but somehow he says it in a way that seems more achievable to me. And I slowly began to listen to him.

I have always believed that a persons joy should be independent of all external circumstances. A persons happiness should not depend on their spouse, children or other relatives, neither should it depend on ones job profile, salary or vacation time. While a good personal life and a good work life can bring immense joy, we should not be dependent on these things entirely.

He gave an example yesterday where he asked us to remember how many time we had been genuinely happy in the last 24 hours. GOOD QUESTION! Then he said that when we were little children, we were probably always happy and that somebody had to actually do something to us to make us sad. Joy, was a natural state of being. Then by progression, it means that by the time we are 30, we should have been exploding with happiness......but this didn't happen. Why were the equations reversed? Where did our mind change?

We can be happy whenever we want, wherever we want. This isn't other peoples decision...it should be yours. Choose to be happy inspite of the chaos. Just thought I'd share the thought. He has many videos on youtube also, so check them out and see if you feel the same.

I'm planning on taking his "Inner Engineering" course in April, if I can sort out my commuting issues....otherwise I'll have to petition them to hold a workshop near my area.

Getting to the center isn't a problem but coming back home is, since not many buses run directly to my place(University District) from where it's going to be held (i.e. in Factoria) that late at night.

So people in Seattle/Bellevue/Redmond/Renton area, if you are going or if you know somebody who's going, please let me know. I would very much appreciate a lift just to the nearest transit center and I only need it while going back home.

Touch

 An old old poem I wrote. Have you ever seen a person who is so fragile that you think they might break at the slightest touch but when you look in their eyes, you see a resilience beyond words?

Something in them touches you to the very core because they are curious but shy, gentle but sturdy, they know it all but appear confused. They are an essence that is fleeting and intriguing. An idea that is contradicting but in sync.

          Touch

This is my touch

Like Poison, Like Love

This is my Touch

Delicate vine on a dry wall

Lightly;

Now here now gone

A shiver from tip to toe

Flickering but alive

Like locks of hair across my face

Interfering and invisible

Dandelions caught in the wind,

Butterfly wings, humming bird's kiss

Eager and shy.

Like a sleepy child;

Confused. Now reaching out then curling back

bewitched and scared

angry and forgiving.

Like Poison Like Love

Now Here Now Gone

This is My touch

-----------Megha(09/07/05)

MOTHERHOOD

This I believe. Motherhood is a big step. It should be by choice and not force or chance.

Many women risk their lives to end a pregnancy that is unintended or dangerous . It is indeed a difficult decision to make. I believe that these women aren't doing it just because it is a convenient thing to do but they are doing it due to pressing life circumstances.
In 2001, there were 6.4 million pregnancies in the US. Of which 3.1 million were unintended. 44% of the unintended pregnancies ended in a live birth while 42% ended in an abortion.[1] That would mean that if abortion were illegal, about 1.3 million women in the US would have no choice in the matter of their own reproductive rights. It would also mean that women and mothers getting illegal abortions would be criminalized and possibly be sent to jail. This website asks anti-abortion activists the question, " If abortion is illegal, what should the penalty be?"

While it is safe to say that most women these days use atleast one method of contraception, some of those methods are not very effective. Suffice it to say that while we do need to improve accessibility and generate awareness about these methods, it does not make much sense to take away the right of a woman to decide whether she is capable of sustaining another life.

A lot of pro-life activists say that abortion is the taking of a life but refuse to realize that no woman would go through the process unless she had absolutely thought about what she was doing.

This I believe. Abortion, for many, is a difficult choice to make. It should however remain.....a choice.

Dorothy Fadiman was taken to the ER because of a botched illegal abortion after her doctor refused to provide her with a safe abortion.

In 1991 she created an award winning trilogy "From the Back-Alleys to the Supreme Court and Beyond" that covers the abortion rights issue beginning from the time when it was illegal through the struggle for legalizing it to the current situation and the fight to keep it legal.
You can watch the important extracts of the trilogy (27 min) or the whole thing (about 2 1/2 hrs) here .
If you are pro-choice this documentary will help deepen your understanding of why the protection of this choice is imortant.
If you are pro-life, please take 30 min to listen to the other side of the story and understand what women go through.

----Megha (08/23/08)

Vande Mataram!
Happy Independence Day everybody
---Megha

Children. Why do we have them? I'm talking about biological children and I'm looking beyond the basic instinct to procreate. Is there a reason?
How true are the following statements?
We have kids because they are a source of happiness.
I want a child because I want a little person that is in my own likeness.
It makes me happy to see something I've helped "create" that has my eyes, nose, hair etc.
Because having a child feels like a miracle.

However, are those reasons enough? That is not to say that children do not make us happy, they absolutely do. But how is it that in a materially oriented society where we are so unemotional with everything/body else but when it comes to babies, suddenly we talk about miracles?

Also, are those the REAL reasons? So many couples do it because "they are supposed to". So many people do it for what I think are the wrong reasons. So many people do it even though they might not be able to provide for their expanding families.


One day, during a conversation with a colleague of mine, I told him that I did not want any children of my own. I wanted to adopt. He called me selfish and went on to lecture me about my debt to society and to my parents. In his view, the reason for my existence was because my parents made a choice and so, being indebted to them I must repay this debt by having my very own biological children. Well what about those children that need parents. I really don't feel entitled to bring another soul into this realm unless those that are already here get good homes and families!

"Well, in that case," he said, "you should have one biological child and one adopted child." WTF! Is that really how society thinks?! And what if I want only one child? A lot of people I talked to also believe that the first child should be biological and the second adopted. Seriously, are we discriminating against children that aren't made from our very own DNA?!

In my mind, very biological child I have means a lost opportunity to parent an adopted child....and that according to society is selfish.

Hinduism believes that by reproducing, we allow our ancestors to be reborn in human form and give them another chance at salvation (or whatever we're supposed to be doing). And if we (or more precisely the men) don't do what we're (the men are) supposed to do, then upon dying, our souls enter the realm of "Put" from where there is no release (i.e. the soul is in some deep shit!). This seems more of a scare tactic to me. I wonder if an impotent man or woman was looked down upon back in those times? I wonder if this “you must have children” thing was done only so a man could prove that there was nothing lacking in him. And if there really was something lacking, then there were alternate routes provided to help with the issue.

And everytime I ask a question, I get provided the means to answer it my self. As I was working on the few paragraphs I've written, I got a little dose of baby time from everywhere. The first was a labmate of mine who just a few weeks ago had a baby and brought her in to work so every one could meet her. I noticed the interaction between parents and child (even though she was in VERY deep sleep). The parents were both tired but happy. Recently someone else I know had a baby and of course the parents are happy about it.
Then I got invited by a couple to a barbeque. They had 5 children. The oldest was probably somewhere in the mid to upper teens and the youngest was probably around 6. As a big family there was lots of work to do but everyone was lending a hand. It was a relaxed and happy atmosphere. Were any of those children adopted? I don't know, but I don't think so. Would they be just as happy if the children weren’t their own? I’d say you’d have to be a really narrow minded and small hearted person incapable of true love to not be happy.

Why this reluctance with giving a child the love and affection it needs? Why label an orphan as someone else’s mistake and hence not our responsibility? Are we so shallow that we somehow think that our children are superior because they are our own flesh and blood? Why do so many people believe that if you adopt a child, then there is something "wrong" with you? Are we using our children to prove something?

Shame on us for submitting to the ridiculousness of society.
----Megha

Started this over a week ago. Added some stuff last week and then finished it on a flight to Los Angeles. My brother got married to a beautiful person. I wish them fulfilment out of life and beyond and each other.
And although this poem had nothing to do with them since it was triggered by completely different circumstances... I dedicate the last two lines to them

Questioning Faith

Back to square one
But it feels like
The end back
Where we started
It's the beginning of the circle
Except
It becomes
Smaller.. each time

So hard to live
In the moment
When it lays
Waste
In the Past and Future
I see
The broken person

The fury and tears
And the frustration
With Love

Anger at insensitivity
And selfishness
One sin sent to right
another

I think
I am
Better
Alone
Not unlike God

But unable to give
And forgive

I think
I have
Lived
Much in love

But as tears go unseen
My love
I your hands
My heart unheard
Dies a silent Death

That brings us to
The End
Where Love
Begins

Outside of it
We all but
Die
So what glory is there
In breaking tethers
When Love is
All we are.


----Megha (06/26/08)

The two strongest negative feelings we as humans have are of anger and betrayal. I hated these and so chose to not feel them and in the process cut out all emotions from my mind. There was no other way. And so I never loved. For a long long time. Not even once. To open my heart to love meant to open it to anger, hate and jealousy also. So I built a wall around it and left it there. But my heart, it wished to be alive.

Wishing For a Heart

I’m cold. Shivering.
Wishing for a heart.
Wishing that with all that I’ve given, that I could give some more.
Wishing for once that I would not think.
That for once this blade that cut me would make me bleed.
This skin that was red and white that trembled and burned, yet never bled.
Wishing the fragrance in my hair that was stolen be stolen again.
Like felines one agile the other powerful, predators on the prowl,
Wishing that they might be prey to one another again.
Silent; this cold heart, yet it screams.
This mind, unthinking, yet calculating.
What trap have I set for myself?
That the more I free myself, the deeper it ensnares me.
And still…..I wish.
For a heart.

--------Megha(October 2005)

When I say "wishing for a heart" I don't mean for another persons love, but rather I wish to have a heart myself. Hope it makes sense.

I wanted to write something on my childhood. It was spent with very few toys. The only toy I really had ( and infact still have) was a pink bear. As a solitary kind of kid. Even though I had a tonne of friends, I loved to spend time alone. Just looking at stuff. I think my parents preferred that I spend time outside instead of inside. And they never got angry if I came home covered in mud as long as I had fun.
I spent a lot of time on trees. The unwritten rule between my brother and I was that if there was a tree, we had to climb it. He was and still is better at it than I am...although getting down is a whole another issue. Another rule was that if the tree bore fruit (mangoes, guavas, jackfruit) then they had to be stolen. I was never allowed to accompany him to these expeditions since they usually occurred at 4 or 5 AM. He never got caught!!! Although I think he has been chased but never identified. If I had a house with a yard with trees, I would absolutely allow the neighbourhood kids to steal the fruit...it's a part of childhood. I might even fake chase them. :-)
I also spent a lot of time with insects; caterpillars, ants, butterflies, dragonflies, spider. We hung out with scorpions and snakes even, although not in very close proximity. Lots of different kinds of birds, squirrels, mongooses were common. Yeah it was wild! Occasionally I'd dig out some dirt in the backyard and wet it with enough water to make it mouldable like clay and make stuff out of it. Of course I had to break it down and clean up the mess..but playdoh wasn't on my list of things to buy. And no , I didn't get sick. I think it helped my immunity.
And just as soon as it started, it was all gone. Sigh! I wish I was a child again.

Easily Distracted

The dancing wind,
Turning everything
Inside-out, Upside-down
My umbrella and the sound of rain
Wet, drenched
To the soul infused
And on a branch perched
A king on a throne

Caterpillar walking, my finger tickled
Spiders weaving webs, waiting, sparkling
Ants working, a string, single-minded
Of black or red
Leaves burning, falling, burning
The feel of mud on little hands
And the scent of burnt grass

Running after the remains
Of a dandelion,
Mesmerized
By hovering humming birds
Or dazzling dragonflies
Spellbound by butterflies
A pebble in a well

Squirrels chased or a cat stalked
Up in the branches
With the sooty crow we flew
A breath taken, A veil dropped
A heartbeat in silence

The quiet sounds we heard as children
The symphony.
It ends before it even starts
Bewitched by the world
Above and below
Engrossed.
Distracted
By Childhood

Prayer

Every time we pray, we ask. For strength or happiness or health or success. Sometimes our asking is directed toward an idol in front of us. We go into a temple or church and kneel and bow our heads. For we feel that whatever this idol symbolizes, controls things that are out of our very human control.
We give our god a form by looking at him/her through messengers or deities that imbibe the powers that we do not ( or we think we do not) hold so that he/she becomes more comprehensible to our limited(or so we think) intellect!
And then some of us decide that if we can't even understand what god is, we shouldn't assign a form to that god. The form only gets in they way of what we really want. I agree with that

But then what do we want from life in the end? Really. How long will our material acquisitions keep us happy? And aren't we perhaps being greedy by continuously asking? And when our wishes are fulfilled, how do we give back to god? Burn incense, donate our time or money to charitable causes?
Maybe god sees it as a good thing to do, but has anyone asked god what he/she really wants?
I mean supposedly there is an entire universe to take care of, does he/she need any help with that besides our little charitable attempts?
Hindu's believe that the divine is responsible for creation, sustenance and destruction. It's a cycle that gets repeated over and over again. And the whole point of that is...? God knows...I sure don't!
I guess we are really giving a hand with the destruction part for now though.

All I know is that I was born and now I have to live until I die. If some good comes out of my life...that's good. And if I die uncared for or unloved or unrecognised...that's just fine.
Will I be happy? I think so
Does it really matter? No
Will any one really care? Not really besides me!
Feel free to share your opinion.
In the meanwhile here is a Sikh prayer (with translation)that I really really really like, because it doesn't ask for anything. These are the opening lines to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
In my mind they are beautiful and no matter how many times I repeat it, when I get to the end, I want to repeat it again and again and again (sometimes my brain is like a gramophone stuck on a record). If you're wondering whether I'm Sikh, I'm not and it doesn't matter. Just like idols can get in the way of what is really important, many times the same is true of religion.

Mool Mantar

Ik Onkaar

There is only one God

Sat Naam

His Name is Truth

Karta Purkh

He is the Creator

Nir Bhau

He is without fear

Nir Vair

He is without hate

Akaal Moorat

He is beyond time (Immortal)

Ajooni

He is beyond birth and death

Saibhang

He is self-existent

Gur Parsaad

He is realised by the Guru's grace.

Jap

Recite this prayer

Aad Sach

He existed in the beginning and was the Truth

Jugad Sach

He has been existing through the ages as the Truth

Haibhi Sach

Even now he Is . The truth

Nanak ho se bhi sach

Nanak says that this Truth shall forever be.

Sochai soch na hovayi je sochi lakhvaar.

Cleansing the body cannot make the mind clean.

Chupai chup na hovayi je laye rahaa livtaar.

The mind cannot be silenced by remaining silence continuously.

Bhukheya bhukh na utari je banna puriya bhaar.

Greed cannot be ended by being given an abundance of wealth.

Sehas syanpaa lakh hohe ta ik na chalai naal.

Even if ones cleverness was to become infinite, this intelligence and shrewdness is not the way to God.

Kiv sacheyara hoyiyai kiv koode tuttai paal.

How can one be true and pure enough to be on the path to God?

Hukam rajaee challnaa Nanak likheya naal.

By leading life according to God's will.

PS: I've added a link to YouTube for the song from the movie Rang de Basanti. If you missed it in the text, here it is again:

This little poem feels more like prose to me. It just doesn't feel good enough to me. But I've been working on it since September 2005. I give up. This is it and I'm not really happy with it.

Sometimes

Sometimes. It hurts.
Like plucking a flower or
Trapping a butterfly.
Words come before thought
To look at a crowd and see no smile.
To see people laugh
only so they don't cry
When people speak
Only to feel alive

A friendly hand seems a trap
Every good deed only an opportunity
It hurts.
When friendship is nurtured by the material
And love is guided by the cynical.
When it feels selfish to give
Or impolite to help.

Scaling mountains for happiness
But never content.
Arrogant, we build our lives
Like castles in the air.
Ignorant enough to believe
They will hold
Through all Time.
But to know that this will not last
That the spirit is caught
In so much that shall be lost
But that glorious loss is the goal.
It hurts
Sometimes that we will never understand.
----Megha (09/25/05)

This, once again was on my old blog on yahoo:

"Gratitude"

The sweetest thing anyone ever said to me was,”Be careful. You are a nice person and I don’t want to see you get hurt.” (And no, he wasn't drunk; at least not yet.)

Sitting here, alone in my apartment, jazz streaming through my windows from the club situated a block away, I wonder. In a society where almost every lavish word feels hollow and is usually just payback for assistance rendered what does it take to earn such a complement? Something so sincere and pure and without expectation. So giving in its nature. It touched me.

Someone thinks I’m nice. I am flattered.

NO. no.

I’m grateful

Grateful, that in your company I've learned much; that you chose to share your joys and sorrows and were more than willing to listen to mine; and that indeed though we might be people of few words, that we still understand. For all your help, I’m grateful.

And yes, for the priceless advice you have always given me; dear friend like the one above, I shall forever be grateful.

----------Megha
I'm happy today because I have a friend

Well that was two and a half years ago. And that friend (when he wasn't getting on my nerves) taught me a lot more since then. Then he graduated and got his PhD, then he did an awesome job teaching an O Chem class. In the meanwhile he got a postdoc...and today he left. We hugged, I cried. I usually don't cry at goodbyes. He means that much (inspite of being irritating :-))

My overworked head has too many words in it. And playing with words has kept me occupied through many a boring times. Funnily the only time I ever get bored is if I have to talk.
Any way so I came up with some thing...I feel like it's still incomplete, but I started it 2 weeks ago and 4 lines in, I had nothing more to say. Today I stumbled over those lines in my forgotten notes somewhere and added a few more lines...and I don't think I'm done. Yet I'm done with it for now.
That's why I'm calling it infinity, because I'm not sure which verse it should start with and where it should end..and if it should end at all

Here goes:

Infinity

Am I trapped in the whims of the stars?
Between thin lines on palms am I?
A child of the earth born to live
Bound by dates and numbers,
Mere mortal am I?
Timeless life has no time for me then?
What meaning has it for my troubles or joys?

In deep waters,
What storm will brew
If this droplet seeks
Becomes a cloud?
The sea will come and go in waves.
And with its ebbs and flows,
We add some and we take some
Or we think we do
And still it remains as is, as was
And as ever will be.

If I was born
Out of eternity
Then was I ever really born?
And when was it that I lived?
Before or after infinity?
And when I was
An animal perhaps...where then were
The lines on my palms?
And when the stars
Were not born yet
Whose whims made my destiny?
What makes me...me
If I am or if I ever was?
---Megha (03/20/08)